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Good day,

Platitude Forums is a forum community in which users can come together, meet up, chat and talk about, well, anything! Our forums allows discussions of many different topics, and many opportunities. You can do anything from talk about a new movie to getting help programming a game - just nothing illegal, as it runs off a strict set of rules to prevent such incidents from happening. Platitude even includes a warning system so rule breakers are more easily warned and banned.

So come along and join today. Smile

Regards,
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4 posters

    [FANFIC] Respawn

    ail_t
    ail_t
     
     


    Age Age : 29
    Location Location : England
    Joined Joined : 2012-08-23
    Posts Posts : 18

    [FANFIC] Respawn Empty [FANFIC] Respawn

    Post by ail_t Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:06 pm

    Hey guys, this is a fanfic that I wrote over a year ago (March 2011) that I doscontinued, but I'd like you guys to see it. It's a Minecraft story BTW tongue

    Respawn

    Pain shot through my veins, as if a million zombies were pulverising me in a blink of an eye. The shrieks of spiders became faint, the moan of the zombies died. Silence. I could see the light dawning upon me, killing my eyes and burning my skin. Ringing came to my ears, then I heard something new. Oink! I glanced up to see myself on a lonely beach, with few mobs around. I could hear the sea next to me, and feel the wind in my hair.

    I respawned.

    DAY 1:
    Starting again, punching trees was my main objective. Hours of work I've already done, just to be repeated again and again until I get sick and tired. One of my hardest choices was choosing what I was going to do for the rest of my life. Farmer, architect, min- no. No way I'm going to go in any caves again. Past experiences have forever scarred with the thought that I will always be mentally ill thanks to all the horrors in working underground, in the dark, with just a pickaxe and hundreds of dark forces plotting to kill you every moment of every day for all time until you turn your back and... and... it's all over.

    Starting off, I decided to just go simple and make a house. It started from a workbench, and then grew to be 4 blocks tall, but without a roof. It came to me that night would fall soon, and if I didn't have any protection, then I would be dead once again. I didn't have enough wood for a ceiling, and I certainly wasn't going to mine coal for torches. What could I do? I checked my backpack. 4 logs. Suddenly I realised, you can make charcoal out of logs, then use it to make torches. Finally, the world was rewarding me! I could smelt the logs using my wooden planks. I got my stuff ready and... I had no furnace. You need stone for a furnace, and I was too afraid. Yet, I know it was the only way. I created a wooden pickaxe, and carefully found a spot to dig. I know that if I dug down, there could be bad, even disasterous results, so I made a staircase. Slowly, I mined the 8 cobblestone I needed, and raced straignt back up the stairs. I then sealed off the mini-mine and created my furnace. I took a breath of relief, as the log burned and I put up my 4 torches.

    DAY 2:
    Last night was scary. Not just scary, but bloodcurdling. I idiotically made one of the most ametur mistakes ever. I forgot to make a door. Every creature I've had to once face came to me through my front passageway, horrifying me to no extent. All I had was a puny wooden sword. Battling them wasn't the best way to spend my first night of respawning. Everytime I went to make a door, I could feel my self getting weaker, slowly loosing precious hearts until... I heard all the mobs getting tortured. Finally the lovely sun had come out. I sighed, but with a smile just as all the invaders had died...

    sssSSsssSSsssSSsSSSSSsSSsS...

    Tell me what you think!
    maingan
    maingan
     
     


    Age Age : 30
    Location Location : Lafayette Indiana
    Joined Joined : 2012-08-23
    Posts Posts : 125

    [FANFIC] Respawn Empty Re: [FANFIC] Respawn

    Post by maingan Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:24 am

    It's good.
    ian_the_great2
    ian_the_great2
     
     


    Age Age : 26
    Location Location : Nearest trash can
    Joined Joined : 2012-08-23
    Posts Posts : 221

    [FANFIC] Respawn Empty Re: [FANFIC] Respawn

    Post by ian_the_great2 Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:25 pm

    Not bad, check your parallel structure. some lines sound a bit off.
    Cüzen
    Cüzen
     
     


    Age Age : 34
    Location Location : England
    Joined Joined : 2012-07-21
    Posts Posts : 174

    [FANFIC] Respawn Empty Re: [FANFIC] Respawn

    Post by Cüzen Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:29 am

    Very nice!

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